Boredom
by QueenOfTheYaoi
Summary: The Kingdom Hearts characters learn that a bored Axel plus a pen and paper equals total chaos.  Fun times.  XD
1. Chapter 1

"I'm home," Leon called, walking into the castle. He braced himself to be pounced on by a sugar high Sora and/or Yuffie, or both, but to his surprise, no pounce came. The lights were on, but no one was around. All was dead silent.

Can you say "red flags"?

"Hello?" He yelled as he walked around the castle, looking for other lifeforms besides himself.

"Yo," Came a voice that Leon recognized as Axel's from the study. The brunette raised an eyebrow as he walked into the room to find Axel sitting behind a desk, scribbling on a piece of paper. Axel turned and winked at the confused Leon. "Welcome home, hot stuff."

Resisting the urge to facepalm himself at Axel's nickname for him, he peered over the teen's shoulder at the paper. "What're you writing?"

"Um...I...It's..."

Leon rolled his eyes and snatched the paper before Axel could stop him. He read it with wide eyes, and an obvious concern for Axel's mental state.

_1- Do the caramelldansen in your underwear_

Clad in only his red boxers, Axel jumped on the dining room table and did the bunny dance to the best of his ability. Eventually, he got so into it, he decided to sing along with it, only to discover he couldn't make his voice go that high.

Sora, Ventus, and Roxas on the other hand, who had all decided to dance with him, could.

Aerith had watched it all, and with a sigh, had called up her psychiatrist to set up four appointments later that day. Whether they were for her or the boys, she didn't know.

_2- Speak the language of cats all day_

"Meow meow meow? Ooh, meow _meow_!" Axel said to the ever growing circle of cats that had surrounded him. He chuckled when several of the cats meowed back at him. "Meow!" He nodded eagerly.

.o.O.o.

Now, here's the translation for those of us who don't speak cat, Like Axel:

"All a y'all mothers are smelly whorish flea-bags!"

"Oh Heeeell naw, he didn't just go there!"

"Oh yes I did!"

.o.O.o.

And so, because Axel doesn't speak cat, he couldn't help but be confused through the pain of being scratched at, bitten, and peed on repeatedly.

"...I thought they liked me!"

_3- Cut someone's hair off in their sleep_

Unfourtunately, Axel had forgotten that because he's an ex-SOLDIER, Cloud was an incredibly light sleeper.

"NONONONONOOOOO! DOWN CHOCOBO, DOWN I SAY! I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SOOOORRYYYYYYY!" He yelled as Cloud continued to chase him around, smirking demonically and holding a pair of scissors in his hand.

From that day on, Axel firmly resolved to not only never touch Cloud's hair again, but to also keep a fair distance from scissors, knives, and any other pointy and/or sharp objects that could be used to cause bodily harm to him.

...At least until later on when he got the idea to do the same thing to Sephiroth.

_4- Make people think there are two of you_

This one puzzled Axel, until he conveniently remembered that his twin brother Reno was coming to visit. And Reno was more than happy to help his little sibling cause mischief.

And so, dressed in the same outfit and hair styled in the same spiky, gravity defying way, they found their prey.

And their prey just happened to be Sora.

"Hey there, shorty!" Axel said cheerfully, putting his arm around Sora's shoulders. Sora punched Axel playfully.

"I'm not short, and you know it, Axel!" He replied, grinning and giggling as they walked down the hallway. Axel put his hands in front of him, feigning surrender.

"Ooh, yeah, because being 5'4'' is _so _tall." The redhead said sarcastically. Sora just pouted, not really offended, but trying to make Axel feel guilty. "Now before you gimme your puppy eyes of doom, you seen Blondie around here?"

"Which one?" Technecally, there were four blondes living in the castle.

"Roxy poo, of course~!" Axel answered in a singsong voice, just as they came to a fork in the hallway. Sora pointed down the left hallway.

"In the rec room, last I checked."

"Oh yeah? Thanks, kiddo! Check ya later!" Axel gave Sora a two fingered salute and ran down the left hallway. Sora watched him leave and chuckled before turning and coming face to...well, chest, with Reno, whom was still cleverly disguised as Axel.

"Well, hey there, cutie." Reno said, giving Sora a wink. Sora raised an eyebrow and turned just in time to see a flurry of red hair disappear around a corner.

"Um...Hi, Axel...weren't you just...?"

"Just where?" Sora jabbed his thumb over his shoulder. Reno chuckled and kept walking down the right hallway, Sora following. "You gotta stop drinkin' coffee, kiddo! It's messin' with your head!"

"But I haven't-"

"You seen Blondie around here?" Reno cut off. Sora blinked.

"Which one?"

"Why, Chocobo-head, of course~!" Reno replied in a singsong voice nearly identical to Axel's. He stopped beneath an air vent, Sora stopping a few feet in front of him.

"Cloud issss..." His faced scrunched in concentration, "...in the training grounds." Sora said with a nod. Reno smirked and ruffled his hair.

"Thanks, kiddo!" He started to leave, but Sora grabbed his wrist.

"Are you _sure _I haven't seen you yet today?" Sora let Reno's wrist go and Reno chuckled.

"I'm very sure. You haven't seen me for-" He was cut off by clattering noises from the vents over their head.

"AGH!" Axel fell through the vent directly over Reno's head, landing on his older brother with a grunt. He scratched the back of his head sheepishly and looked at Sora. "Um...hi again, cutie,"

Sora just stared at them in shock. All of a sudden, he turned on his heel and ran off full speed.

"RIKUUUUU! YUFFIE CLONED HERSELF AN AXEL TO HAVE AS A LOVE SLAVE!"

_5- Crossdress. See how many people you fool_

And so, Axel strutted about wearing a red leather skirt borrowed from Yuffie, a tube top stolen from Aerith's laundry basket, and hair straightened using Tifa's personal straightener. He found he actually enjoyed turning heads.

That is, until he had to punch out a very drunk Cid for trying to feel him up.

After that, he decided to end the day early and take a _looooong _shower.

_6- Blackmail someone into doing something for you_

"Not happening, Axel," Cloud muttered as Axel persistantly nagged him.

"C'mooooon, please?"

"No."

"Why not?" Cloud turned to look at Axel, eyes shooting daggers directly into the teen's skull.

"Because I don't have a death wish!" Was he kidding? As if going into Yuffie's room wouldn't be bad enough, Axel seriously wanted him to go burn her collection of yaoi manga? Axel pouted, then smirked.

"Ooh, what's this?" Axel said, pulling an envelope out of his pocket. "Photographic evidence that you're gay for Leonhart?"

"_What_?" Cloud spun around and made a grab for the envolope, but Axel moved it out of his reach. "Axel, give it to me."

"Hmm..." He tapped his chin thoughtfully, "no, I don't think I will. I think it'd be much better if Squall took a gander at these, don't you?" Cloud, finally realizing his situation, sighed and walked to the castle to get his task over with.

After Yuffie's collection was in smoldering ashes, Axel gave Cloud the envelope and disappeared. Cloud opened it.

A blank piece of paper.

"...I'm going to fucking _murder _him..."

And then Cloud heard it.

"EEEEEK! MY MANGA!" Cloud shivered and ran to find a good hiding spot. Revenge could wait until after his life wasn't in danger.

_7- Jump in honey, followed by a tub of granola, and ask random people if they want a bite_

Axel had been stared at by Roxas, laughed at by Sora, scolded by Leon for getting the castle sticky, told to take a shower by Aerith, Yuffie had attempted to lick him (he ran away), Cloud had tried to stick him to a wall so he couldn't cause anymore trouble (also ran away), and Cid had recommended professional help. The only things that had actually bitten, or rather pecked at him, were numerous birds.

And of course, the birds left feathers and unmentionable white stuff behind.

When he got back home that day, everything was silent, except for the hysterical laughter and shuddering of camera lenses.

_8- Stand in front of a mirror. Offer your reflection a grapefruit and yell at it when it copies your every move._

Leon rummaged through the fridge and sighed. He could've sworn he'd brought home grapefruits to juice... Briefly wondering if you could go senile at the age of 26, Leon pulled out a carton of orange juice and decided to drink that instead. Not as good as fresh squeezed grapefruit juice, but it'd do. Pouring the juice into a glass, he drank deeply.

"STOP THAT!"

The random yell made Leon cough up what he'd just drank.

"CUT IT OUT!"

Leon followed the shouts to Axel's room. Opening the door and peering inside, he ducked just in time to avoid a grapefruit to the face. It splattered against the wall behind him. Willing himself to look up again, Leon found his missing grapefruits all over Axel's walls. He sweatdropped. Axel looked at him and sighed.

"Leon, make him stop!"

Leon looked around and saw no one. He raised an eyebrow. Then he noticed that Axel was glaring at himself in the mirror. He shut the door and walked back to the kitchen. Definately not involved, nope.

_9- Go crazy with someone's credit card_

It was a well known fact that the few people in the castle that were old enough to have credit cards were fairly responsible. It was credit to Axel when, out of everyone he could've targeted, he'd somehow managed to snag _Yuffie's_. Needless to say, Yuffie was pretty pissed off.

Well, she _was_, until she saw something that Axel bought.

"OHMYGOSH, AXEL! You replaced all of my manga! ThankyouThankyouThankyou!" She squealed.

Axel didn't see the need to remind her that he'd bought them using _her _credit card, or that he'd also bought 100 lbs of Wutaian fireworks, a new camera, and a lifetime supply of cinnamon chewing gum.

_10- Slide around in your socks on a polished marble floor_

Abruptly remembering that there were no marble floors in Radiant Garden, Axel took a trip back to The Castle That Never Was. Somehow or another, Demyx and Xigbar had found him and had taken it upon themselves to do something awesome. Hence why the trio, clad in socks, boxers, and white button-down dress shirts, slid across the floor, backs to the camera they'd convienently set up beforehand. Axel, holding a guitar, turned just as the background music started.

"Just take them old records off the shelf, I'd rather listen to 'em by myself, today's music ain't got the same soul, I like that old time rock and roll!"

But sadly, the floor proved too slippery for Axel's socks, and the video met an untimely end when Axel accidentally throttled it.

"...A lot of recent events make much more sense now," Leon said, pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand. Axel grinned.

"I'm so glad. Now...y'know...can you give my list back?"

"It isn't finished?"

"Not even close." Axel answered, smirking devilishly. Leon stared at him for a few moments before handing the paper back and leaving, mumbling something about needing to stock up on aspirin.

.o.O.o.

A/N- This was based on another fanfic with the same title by OhJay, but that one stars Zack Fair from Final Fantasy 7. I suggest you go read it, for it is a million times better than mine, and I humbly bow before it. *bows* lol. I was re-reading some of the suggestions I'd submitted, and realized I'd submitted somewhere around thirty since that fic had first started. XD So some of these are suggestions I had sent in.

If you, my viewers, have any suggestions, I'm all ears, because thirty will only last me...lessee...add 28...divide by three...carry the one...about three chapters. And I really wanna see how far this can go. It wouldn't be much fun if it ended with three chappies, right? So give me your ideas. I'll credit you here. And review about the fic itself, okay? I wanna know how epically I've failed. X3 Or how awesomely I've succeeded. It's all up to you, the reader. So send me feedback! :D


	2. Chapter 2

Leon was having a good day.

It was rare for the leather clad brunette to be in a good mood, but today was just one of those days where Leon had nothing to be brooding over. He had sparred with Cloud and actually won, despite the fact that he wasn't genetically enhanced like the blonde was. Riku and Terra hadn't gone off somewhere without telling anyone. Aqua was teaching Kairi how to better weild her Keyblade, and for the first time, Kairi got through an entire lesson without damaging the surrounding area. Sora, Ventus, and Roxas had been relatively quiet, only coming out from wherever they were hiding to eat. All was calm and happy, and Leon took a moment to enjoy the peace, walking through a corridor while humming tunelessly.

But when he heard giggling coming from the same study he'd found Axel in, he knew his mood would get ruined.

Leon didn't want to look. He really didn't want to peer inside and see what Axel was up to this time, and somehow manage to get himself tangled in the redhead's shenanigans in the process.

But alas, lions are members of the cat family.

Leon looked inside, scanning the room, eyes coming to rest on the same desk Axel had been sitting in. The redhead was still there, but he wasn't giggling. Oh no, the giggling was coming from the three boys standing around him. Roxas, Ventus, and Sora looked down at something on the desk, Leon assumed the paper he'd seen Axel writing on, and snickered as quietly as they could manage.

"Oh gods, please don't tell me they're involved in this, too," Leon said, pinching the bridge of his noise in annoyance. The quartet turned to look at him, two twin looks of mischief, one of sly amusement, and the last of indifference.

"Yup." They all chorused before returning their eyes to the paper on the desk. Leon groaned quietly and opted to make a quick getaway before he could get sucked into their boredom induced chaos.

_11- Say why after anyone makes a comment_

Sora knew that he and Axel were on the same side, but he really couldn't resist. He caught the redhead walking to the gummiship hangar.

"Hey Axel, where ya going?" He asked, putting on his best face of innocence and falling in step beside him. Axel chuckled.

"Gotta borrow the gummiship."

"Why?"

"To go see Reno."

Sora raised an eyebrow. Now he was actually curious. "Why?"

"Because I want to."

"Why?"

"Because he's my brother."

"Why?"

"Because we both came outta the same-"

"Ooooookay, that's enough!" Sora said, turning on his heel and walking away before Axel could finish that sentence, face red. Axel watched him leave and smirked. That'd teach him not to go against his comrades!

...Or at least teach him to keep a fair distance from Axel when he's scheming.

_12- Hide behind a plant. Shoot paintballs at random objects and/or people_

Axel felt the need to run for his life when Leon and Cloud both ducked, and Sephiroth came next in the line of fire.

_13- throw a brick off a roof. Aim for the first person you see below_

"D-did we hit her?" Roxas asked nervously, peering over the edge of the roof. The first person they had seen just happened to be Tifa. Ventus went beside him to look. They both sighed in relief and stood when they saw the brick smashed in the sidewalk just in front of where Tifa stood, shocked and confused.

"She's okay. And you have terrible aim." Ven said, chuckling quietly.

Roxas pouted. "I don't have terrible aim, I just don't wanna hurt a girl!"

Ven laughed again. "As if you'd be strong enough to actually hurt- ROXAS, DUCK!"

"Huh?"

_Konk!_

Roxas fell unconcious. Ven walked up beside him, noticing a fragment of the brick lying beside his head. He sweatdropped. "Now _she _has good aim."

_14- try to eat veggies through a straw_

Axel tried. He really did. He'd tried to eat every veggie imaginable. Carrots, broccoli, celery, potatoes, lettuce, everything he tried didn't work. It just got stuck in the straw.

That was...until Axel tried to eat peas...

"Agh! AXEL!" Yuffie yelled, rubbing her neck where the pea had made contact.

Axel just snickered and made a mental note to buy a pack of straws and a bag of frozen peas for later.

_15- eat an inhuman amount of sugar_

If you had seen the castle afterwards, you would've thought it was the sight of a teenage rave. The four boys couldn't decide who would be best to preform the task, so instead, they all had done it. And now that the sugar had worn off, the effects weren't pretty.

Ven was hanging from the chandileir, sleeping.

Axel was sitting against the wall, a lampshade over his head, also sleeping.

Roxas was passed out in a, thankfully, empty bathtub.

Sora, the only one that had managed to stay awake, had somehow ended up streaking.

Everyone stared at the chaos that had become the castle. Leon sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Terra, get Ventus down before he falls and breaks his head open. Yuffie, Cloud, go slap some sense into Axel and Roxas. Aerith, I'm gonna need a really big bag."

"For the trash and rubble?"

"No, for Sora."

_16- Dig a hole. Bury every book you can find that is not of the comic or manga variety._

To Axel's surprise, Yuffie volunteered to help. So while Axel was in the gardens digging a hole that was six feet deep, Yuffie stole every non-manga book in the castle. When Axel dubbed the hole deep enough and climbed back out, he was shocked to see that Yuffie was only carrying an armload of books.

"Where are the rest of them?"

Yuffie giggled. "This is all of them that aren't manga!"

Axel just blinked. "You're serious?" Yuffie nodded. Axel ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "So I dug this big ass hole for nothing?"

Yuffie giggled again. "I know what you can use it for~!"

"Oh yeah? What?"

And so, by pouring the loose dirt back into the hole and adding some water from the hotsprings, Radiant Garden had its' first ever mud wrestling competition.

_17- stare intently at a bag of chips. Taunt it until it talks to you_

"Leoooon, where are we going?" Sora whined. Leon had walked in on him and a bag of barbicue potato chips having a "yo mama" war. A war which he'd really like to get back to, but Leon had hefted him over his shoulder and was now forcibly bringing Sora with him to...wherever they were going.

"To get a mental health check up," Leon replied.

Sora groaned. "_Again_?"

_18- paint yourself to match a spot on the wall. Stand in that spot, no moving. See who notices_

To pull this one off, Roxas decided to paint Ven to look like a spot in the hallway. Sadly, everyone noticed, because Ven just happened to be tickilish.

Tickilish Ven plus cold paint plus paint brush bristles equals Ven, Roxas, and the hallway becoming covered in paint.

But on the bright side, since the hallway had gotten the same paint job the boys did, both Roxas and Ven managed to get away unseen.

_19- put on kitty ears. Proceed to hop around like a bunny and bark like a puppy._

Terra was really getting sick of Ven's barking. Aqua was videotaping it, thinking it was cute. Several more barks and an angry vein later, Terra drew the line. Grabbing Ven by the scruff of his neck, he sat him near a lamppost and returned inside, only to come out with Pluto's collar and leash.

Poor Ven missed dinner, and was left out there until Aerith forced Terra to untie him.

_20- Decapitate barbie dolls. Put speakers in the heads, plant them in random spots, and say "why Ken, why?" when people walk by_

Sadly, Axel had forgotten to use wireless speakers. Leon followed the wires to his hiding place in a kitchen cabinet.

"Um...hi." Axel said, scratching the back of his head. Leon just stared at the redhead blankly. "Uh, are you gonna punish me?"

Leon shook his head and closed the cabinet doors.

"I'd much rather see _Kairi's _punishment for you when she finds all of her collector's edition Barbie Dolls out of their boxes, naked, and headless."

Axel gulped.

.o.O.o.

A/N- behold, chapter two! XD The updates are gonna slow down for a while. I used all of my ideas that I had deemed funny enough for use from the ones I'd pitched to OhJay's story, so now I'm gonna have to actually sit down and think of more. If you have suggestions, now would be the time to give them.

Airon Kennel- glad you like it. and don't worry, I'll use your idea next. :3

Venere Veritas- I'm sorry, I tried to make them in character this time, but I kinda think I made them worse. T.T

allison kingsley- the list is gonna be way longer, don't worry. ^^


	3. Chapter 3

_21- Make a mushroom society out of playdoh_

And so, Axel sat in the hallway for hours on end, molding randomly shaped fungi with glow-in-the-dark playdoh and sticking them to the floor and walls. When he heard two pairs of feet coming, he quickly hid around a corner. He peered his head around the corner and saw Sora and Roxas walk down the hall before pausing at the mushrooms.

And since they didn't see that _Axel_was the one who made them, Roxas and Sora believed that they were real.

"Um...wow," Sora said, staring at the mushrooms that had "magically grown" in the hallway, and that had somehow managed to grow on the ceiling.

Roxas chuckled. "Dare you to eat one." Sora smirked, picked up one of the green mushrooms, and put it in his mouth. He swallowed it with a disgusted grimace.

"Way too salty!"

Roxas simply blinked before doubling over with laughter. "That's sick, Sora!"

"Yeah yeah; now you owe me twenty munny!"

"Pfft, you've earned it! C'mon." Roxas led Sora away to give him his well earned munny. Axel ran back to the mushrooms. He fell to his knees in front of the mushroom society.

"Noooooo! Sora ate the mayor!"

_22- Make your friend's boyfriend crossdress_

This one had the four boys stumped.

"There's no way we're gonna get Leon or Cloud to crossdress..." Sora said, hanging his head.

"And there isn't enough munny on earth to get Zexy to do it." Axel said, sighing.

Roxas also sighed. "Seifer and Pence wouldn't be too fond of the idea, either..." The quartet sat in silence, utterly confused, until Ven had a lightbulb moment.

"I have the perfect person!"

.o.O.o.

Zack came out of the changing room wearing a lacy black top and a short jean skirt. His hair was straightened, he was wearing fake nails painted purple, and matching purple makeup. The four boys gaped at him, and Aqua giggled.

"Aww, you make an adorable girl."

Zack went and looked at himself in the mirror. "Heh, I'd have a piece of that."

Ven tilted his head. "You'd take a piece of yourself?"

"What, do you want me to yourself, then~?" Zack winked at Ven, who flushed crimson. Axel, Roxas, and Sora went into hysterics as Zack shamelessly flirted with Ven. Aqua stood on the sidelines and videotaped it all.

_23- Try to smell things through your cellphone_

"Hello? Hello? Can you smell me now?" Sora said, walking around the gardens with the cellphone held under his arm. Roxas, who was sitting on a stool in the castle's kitchen, sniffed the phone and shook his head.

"Nope, keep trying!"

Leon stood in the doorway and blinked at Roxas. "What in Shiva's name are you doing now?"

"Trying to smell Sora." Roxas said, not bothering to look up or pull the cellphone away from his face.

Leon turned and walked away, making a mental note to hide Sora and Roxas's cellphones at his next opportunity.

_24- Make life sized figures out of fruit_

Cloud was more than surprised when he saw a life sized fruit salad in his likeness perched in the training ground. Not knowing what else to do, the blonde simply shrugged, pulled off one of the bananas that had been serving as his hair, and opened it.

"You four are in trouble if you don't clean this stuff up before I get back," Cloud said before biting the banana and walking back towards the castle. Axel, Roxas, Sora, and Ventus emerged from their clever hiding spot behind the same tree.

"Damn, how'd he know it was us?" Axel said, crossing his arms.

Roxas shrugged and sighed. "We'd better bring this fruit back to the kitchen..." Ventus nodded and started to take Fruit Cloud apart.

Sora grinned. "I have a better idea!"

And so, Leon came face to face with a Fruit Leon when he walked into the castle library.

_25- Build an ice-cream igloo_

It was Aerith and Yuffie to be on patrol when this incident happened. Yuffie looked up at the white clouded sky and shrieked as she felt something cold land on her nose.

"Eek, Aerith, it's snowing!" She yelled, bouncing on the balls of her feet excitedly. Aerith raised an eyebrow and held her hand up. She giggled when she felt the flakes fall on her palm.

"I guess it is. Maybe we should hurry and head home." The brunette proposed. Yuffie nodded.

By the time they reached the garden, the flurry had become a steady snowstorm. Yuffie was, of course, happy about that. She kept her head up as she walked, tongue poked out in the hopes of catching some stray flakes. But when she did, she gasped.

"This isn't snow!"

Aerith raised an eyebrow. "Of course it's snow."

"No it isn't, it's vanilla ice cream!" Yuffie argued. "Taste it!"

Reluctantly, Aerith scooped up some of the white powder and licked it, only to realize it was indeed ice cream. She sighed. "This has the boys written all over it."

"Yeah, and so does that igloo." Yuffie pointed to a rather large igloo in the center of the garden. Aerith looked at the structure, that had the names of its' creators written on it in ice cream sauce.

"..." She shook her head and walked back to the castle, leaving Yuffie to excitedly investigate their discovery.

_26- Try and shoot a bullseye_

All was going well, until Axel decided to use Saix's X scar as a target...

_27- Stare at a dog. See how long it takes for them to realize they're being watched and stare back at you_

Axel started with watching Pluto, but all he did was sleep. Eventually, Axel got bored, so his mind wandered. And, given time, his mind wandered to...more interesting dogs to watch.

"EEEK! Axel, get outta the women's hotspring!"

Total time for the girls to realize they were being watched bathing: 2 minutes.

Total time for them to beat the crap out of Axel for being a peeping tom: 20 seconds.

Total time that Axel regretted doing it: None at all.

_28- Steal everyone's hair products_

Well...Let's put it this way. Soon after questing on this mission, they remembered that girls didn't usually use hairgel. They also discovered that Cloud didn't have an ounce of the stuff to be found (for his hair is naturally gravity defying), and neither did Leon. The solution?

They resorted to stealing each others.

The game of who could steal the most hairgel from the other three went on for almost two days. How did it end, you ask?

Yuffie knocked all four unconscious and stole the hairgel herself.

_29- Annoy people by poking them_

"Terra,"

_Poke_

"Terra."

_Poke_

"Terra!"

_Poke_

"Teeeeeeeerraaaaaaa~!"

_Poooooooke_

Terra groaned. "What do you want, Ven? Now's not the time to ask me to spar with you." Aqua had turned him into her pack mule, and his arms were filled with precariously perched boxes and bags that the blue haired woman had filled on her shopping binge. They were in danger of falling as it is, let alone with Ven breaking Terra's concentration.

Ven smiled. "Hi!" The blonde boy merrily skipped away.

Terra's eye twitched in aggravation. Ignoring the urge to bang his head into the nearest wall, he continued his assigned "mission", only to trip over a rock that had been conveniently placed in front of him.

_30- Walk around without shoes. See who notices_

The boys trotted about Radiant Garden barefoot all day.

Not a good idea, seeing as there was still ice cream snow on the ground.

And the worst part was that the snow had gotten so deep, no one noticed that the boys were shoeless until they got back to the castle with blue toes.

.o.O.o.

Chappie number three, finally! :D I've been very busy recently, and I apologize for my absence. It wasn't intentional, honest!

And now I must give credit where credit is due! :3 Number 28 was a suggestion from Airon Kennel. Numbers 21, 22, and 30 were from WeDidItForTheDead. The rest were either from me, or my demented friends. :3


	4. Chapter 4

_31- Paint Sephiroth's masamune bubblegum pink_

Since the other three were scared shitless at even the thought of messing with masamune, Axel was left to do this task on his own.

And of course, he did so proudly and retardedly.

When Sephiroth returned to his office, he found that he couldn't get masamune out of its' sheath (due to Axel resheathing it while the paint was still wet). When he finally dislodged it and saw what had become of his precious sword, bright pink and covered in rainbow stickers, he nearly fainted on the spot. But upon finding a bright red hair caught in the paint, he made the first assumption that came to his mind.

"RENO!"

After that, the redhead had mysteriously disappeared for three days.

Axel decided he would feel guilty about it _after _the mental images of Sephiroth trying to hack his brother in half with a pink sword stopped being so damn funny.

_32- get the girls to give you kisses_

"Aerith, can I have a kiss?" Sora asked, smiling and fluttering his eyelashes cutely.

Aerith giggled. "I don't see why not." She bent down and pecked his lips before returning to her cooking beside Leon.

~LATER~

"Tifa, can I have a kiss?"

Tifa just blinked at Roxas, before smiling and kissing his lips. She chuckled at his innocent blush. "There, that should work." She said before returning to her training session with Cloud.

~STILL LATER~

"Aqua, can I have a kiss?"

Aqua grinned at Ven. "Aww, is someone finally hitting puberty?" Ven pouted, and Aqua giggled. She gave him a kiss and returned to her shopping with Terra.

~STILL LATER _AGAIN_~

Axel, along with Leon, Cloud, and Terra, stared at the three young teens in shock.

"How in hell did you _do _that?" Axel asked, dumbfounded. When he'd asked Larxene, he'd gotten slapped.

The three boys looked at each other and smirked mischeviously. "It's all in the innocent act." They said in sync before chuckling and leaving the four men to ponder. Said men looked at each other.

"...Dude, we _have _to learn how to do that."

"Hell yeah we do!"

"Uh huh."

"Yup."

But alas, Aerith had thought Leon was joking, Tifa had punched Cloud in the head, Aqua had simply giggled and patted Terra's head, and Larxene had broken out her pepper spray.

_33- Format the gun part of Leon's gunblade to shoot bubbles_

This task was left to Roxas, since Axel knew absolutely nothing about how guns worked, Sora was terrible at covering his tracks, and Ven would take too long.

Leon didn't learn about his gunblade's new feature until, of course, he was in the middle of a Heartless fight.

It was a fight with a Dark Follower, and Leon had been on the defensive for most of it. Eventually, he got out of the Heartless' range and cocked his gunblade.

"This has gone on long enough." He said, aiming for the creature's head. He pulled the trigger.

Out popped a bubble.

Leon raised an eyebrow and pulled the trigger again.

Another bubble.

_Click, click, click, click, click_

Bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble.

"...Oh fuck."

_34- Strut around the castle in nothing but your boxers and a towel cape_

Axel rounded a long highway, Cloud's chocobo boxers hiding his nether regions and towel cape fluttering behind him in an unseen wind, and struck a heroic pose.

"I am... BOXERMAN! The awesome and devilishly handsome bringer of justice and kicker of evil's ass!" He yelled.

Roxas, clad in neon yellow briefs, a smaller towel cape, and a black eye mask, ran up beside him. "And I am Briefboy! Boxerman's extremely adorable sidekick and bringer of...uh...Axel, what do I bring?"

"Um...cupcakes?"

"..." Roxas shrugged. "AND BRINGER OF CUPCAKES!" They heard slow clapping coming from the other side of the corridor. Sora rounded the opposite corner, smirking. He's fully clothed, but wearing one of Tifa's black lace bras on his head.

"We meet again, Boxerman."

Axel gasped. "My archnemesis, Doctor Bra!"

"Yes, it is I, Doctor Bra! Gaze upon my extra large cups of doom and tremble!" The brunette added an evil laugh for effect.

"What have you done with the Panty Princess, you fiend?" Roxas yelled at him.

Sora grinned. "She's right here," He said, pulling a tied up Ven into view. The blonde was wearing a pair of Aerith's panties on his head.

Ven groaned angrily. "Do I get a say in this 'damsel in distress' thing _at all_?"

"_NO_." The other three said in sync.

_35- Tiptoe two feet behind people singing Mission: Impossible_

"Da na noo~, da na noo~, da na noo~, da nun. Dun, dun, dun dun dun, dun, dun dun dun, dun, dun dun dun, dun-"

"Sora, if you don't cut it out in the next three seconds, I won't let you have any sweets for the next month." Leon said.

Sora shut up instantly and retreated to the sanctity of his bedroom, and of his candy stash.

_36- Slap people with pieces of pizza_

Yuffie and Reno were having a conversation regarding a missing materia shipment when Axel, laughing like the maniacal madman he was, ran to them and slapped them both with a slice of pepperoni, leaving red sauce splatters on their cheeks. Pausing only for a moment to examine his work, he wrote an A in the sauce, gave a thumbs up, and merrily ran off.

Yuffie and Reno stared blankly at Axel's retreating figure.

Reno blinked and looked back at a confused Yuffie. "...What the hell does flower girl put in his food, and where do I get the antidote?"

_37- dress like one of your friends. Follow them around and insist that you are the real one_

Roxas and Ven were able to confuse a lot of people that way. To Roxas's friends, Ven insisted he was Roxas. To Ven's friends, Roxas insisted he was Ven. No one could tell the difference, not even Sora or Axel.

And so, everyone adressed Roxas and Ven as Ren and Voxas until the pair were so annoyed, they gave up and confessed who was who.

But Axel and Sora weren't ready for the fun to end.

As soon as Roxas and Ven admitted who was who, Axel insisted he was the real Roxas, while Sora said he was the actual Ven.

Leon checked them both for any signs of head trauma.

_38- Turn everything someone says into a sexual innuendo_

Axel, being the oldest of the troublesome quartet, was the only one who knew what a sexual innuendo was, let alone how to make one.

~IN THE RAIN~

Aerith sighed as she looked out of the window. "Everything's getting wet..."

Axel smirked. "That's what she said."

Aerith gave him a funny look and walked away.

~IN THE TRAINING GROUNDS~

Leon's gunblade was getting dull, so he gave it to Cloud to look at. The blonde took it and hummed thoughtfully. "It just needs some grinding."

"That's not the only thing that needs grinding."

Cloud and Leon ignored him completely.

~IN THE GUMMISHIP HANGAR~

Cid groaned angrily. He'd misplaced a steel plated mercury rod that he needed to do maitenence on the gummiship. "Where the hell did my rod go?"

"Didja check your pants?"

Cid slapped the back of Axel's head and continued his search for the missing part.

~ON THE SPARRING MAT~

Yuffie and Tifa were sparring free hand today. Neither of them had weapons on their person, which gave Tifa an edge.

"Come on, give it to me harder than that!" She yelled, easily avoiding the ninja's blows.

Yuffie smirked. "I'll give it to you a lot harder, just don't blame me if I hurt you!"

"Ooh, if you two go at it, can I watch?"

Both women stopped to send Axel a sharp glare. The redhead scratched the back of his head nervously. Sensing their hostility, he backed out of the room before either girl could smite him.

_39- sneak into the women's hotspring again_

Since Axel didn't feel like getting his ass beat by the girls again, Sora and Roxas went in instead.

They were gone for two hours, and Axel was starting to worry.

_No way the girls killed them…did they? _He thought, and was overcome with guilt for sending them into the line of fire. Without time to rethink his actions, he charged into the hotsprings, only to see Roxas and Sora in the water with the girls naked and rubbing their shoulders.

Axel passed out from blood loss.

~LATER~

Once Roxas and Sora were dry and Axel semi-conscious, the boys carried the redhead out of the hotsprings. He awoke when they laid him on the sofa.

"HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS CRAP?" He yelled. First they'd gotten kissed, and now they'd gotten massaged! How the hell was that fair?

The boys looked at each other and shrugged. "We're just that cute." They said in sync.

Axel stayed in his emo corner for the rest of the day.

_40- try to nail jello to a tree_

Another day.

Another hammer and box of nails.

Another plate of jello.

Another psychiatrist appointment for Aerith.

Another "what the fuck" moment for Terra, Cloud, Leon, and Tifa.

Another mental health check up for Ven.

Another totally normal day in Radiant Garden.

.o.O.o.

A/N- Hi there, people! Chapter four at long last. Sorry it's late. Life happened. -.-' Guess what, I tricked someone into writing a smut! :D lmao I'm so proud. XD

Credit time! 38 is from cmsully. 34, and maybe 37, I forgot, are from my friend Oxman (he's the one I tricked :P). All you bleach fans should go look him up. :3 The rest are from me…I think. ^^' lol if they aren't, I apologize. I'm very spacey today. XD

Yada yada yada, please review, blah blah blah, you should all know the drill by now. ;3


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